Eighteen Months - Still in Love

Today marks my 18-month lockiversary.



Wow! I can't believe it. Another milestone.

I remember so vividly the day I started. I remember staring in the mirror at three months and six and twelve - wondering what I would look like on this day.

Not like I imagined. I am not disappointed, but it amazes me that I can be so surprised even though I didn't really know what to expect.

My locks are not the size, shape or length I thought they would be.




****

I just got back from a mini-vacation in Charleston, SC. Some friends of mine chartered a boat for a dinner cruise in the harbor. It was a pleasant diversion - an opportunity to mix and mingle with old friends and new.
Otherwise I would definitely have been at the Atlanta Sisterlocks Meetup.

I was sort of bummed that I couldn't do both, but I signed on to do the dinner cruise three months ago.

Anyhow...I ran into my original Sisterlocks Inspiration on the cruise!

It was funny to see her because we met 4 years ago (November 2004) on a Carnival Cruise through mutual friends. She lived in another city so we didn't see each other again even though we planned to and then she moved out of state and changed her phone number so we lost touch.

I've wanted to tell her all this time that I started my Sisterlocks because of that chance meeting we had years ago. When I say out of state, I mean waa-ay out of state. She is practically on the other coast. Since she was a friend of a friend and not a close personal friend, neither of us really put forth any special effort to communicate, but it was great to see her over the weekend and catch up!

It was wonderful to speak with her again and trade notes on locking and maintenance. Hers were cute baby-locks 4 years ago and now they are down her back. I would have posted a picture of us both, but she is a very private person, so I have to respect her wishes about that.

(Who do I think I'm fooling? Y'all know I'm incredibly slack about posting pictures of my own self alone!)



I remembered thinking that her hair texture seemed to be a lot like mine and hoping that my locks would look like hers as they matured (and they do). After 5 + years of locking she still has curly-q ends, which I actually find encouraging.

Y'all hear me say it all the time. I like my curly ends and I don't want them to go away. She gives me hope that maybe they won't.

Our hair looks very much the same with the exception of length. And her locks are smaller than my own - by half. She has over 700 locks. I have only about 320.

Still not regretting my decision because she doesn't have the patience to tighten her own even though she learned how. (The same way I know that I would not if I had that many - and it takes about 5 hours now when she goes to a consultant.)

No thanks!

An interesting side point though: I have started at least two dozen new locks since my original installation and y'all know that I split several of my locks 3 - 5 months back.

All of the new locks are micro-mini-small. And I love them!

When I first started my lock journey I was all about the larger locks. I had no love for the tiny ones and was very vocal about wanting to have locks that were closer in size to smaller traditionals.

However, with the passage of time I've had a change of heart.

I'm still glad not to have a head full of tiny locks and the size I chose at installation kept me from having the plucked chicken look and the head full of kinky thin wispies I dreaded, but I am giving serious thought to splitting a few more.

Most of my locks didn't really swell and are just a little but larger in diameter than they were at the beginning. There's just the odd lock here and there that's fatter than I would like. Out of the 320 or so I would guess that 15 - 20 are larger than I want them to be.

I want to take them down but I am hesitant for three reasons.

1) I have started many new locks, but I started them all from new growth. I am not sure I really know how to neatly re-install a lock with 12+ inches of hair. And you all may recall that my consultant moved away 4 months ago. Since I have been self-tightening I haven't bothered to try to find a new one.

I don't especially feel like hunting one down and making a trip out of town. If Phyllis was still here I could do them two or three at a time and just drop in at her house whenever I felt like it, but if I go find another consultant and I have to travel, I feel like I should take them all down at once and get them all re-installed at once.

Truthfully that's more of a time and money commitment than I'm ready for right now.

2) Overall I don't really care about my parts (or I thought I didn't), but I do have a pretty decent grid pattern. And I've realized that choosing locks to split at random is going to wreak havoc with it.

3) And third - I'm fully locked. Those fat locks are the kind of solid silky ropes we all dreamed of in the beginning. As little as 6 months ago they were still shrinking and bunching and now they're perfect. I hate to bust them up and start all over again. So I'm trying to weigh the pros and cons.

There really are no pros to splitting them because there are no cons to leaving them. There's nothing wrong with them as they are. I think part of the reason I want to split them is just to satisfy my desire for change. I like the energy and movement and feel that new locks have and I miss it. They're soft and springy and they change so much from week to week.

I really enjoyed going through the process all over again when I split the locks at my temples earlier this year, but now they are firming up and coming into their own and that fun phase is over.

It was kind of the best of both worlds because I had the newness but when they were kinky and misbehaving (as teenagers will do) it wasn't horrible because most of the locks were more mature and well behaved so I could just pin them down and blend them in.




Well, that's the latest. As you know, comments are always welcome!

So...I don't know what I'm going to do - nothing yet.

Stay tuned....

I Love My Sisterlocks!

Have I said that lately?

Not in print. But I do! There's that one picture on the official website where the caption says: "Just when you think your Sisterlocks can't get any more fabulous, they do..."

That's how I feel about mine every day! I should post a few pictures, but you know...first I have to take them, then I have to edit them, then I have to upload them, and it's all too much....

Did I tell y'all I'se gon' be own tv??? (I love the way some southerners pronounce on, which I say 'awn', as 'own' - but anyway, I digress...)

While at the trade show a month ago - yes, that was already a month ago! - I made a contact with one of the local news stations. A representative was intrigued by the Showhomes concept and she passed my story along to one of the reporters. She was equally excited and wants to shoot a story that will air during May sweeps. That's publicity that I couldn't buy.

However, preparations for it are really making me hustle. Plus, I was still working my other job part-time for the regular paycheck. (Showhomes offers homeowners the option to pay for our services at closing, and, yeah, most people take the option to defer payment given the chance...so I'm very busy working, but I have yet to actually get paid....)

But I just got to the point where the part-time job was hindering the growth of my business. It was really not worth it. The money I was earning working the job was actually costing me due to lost opportunities to close deals and meet with potential clients and partners.

Just from the stand point of scheduling, it was getting to be not just inconvenient, but actually detrimental. I have to schedule sales meetings and conference calls and the like to be effective at what I do and having to work around the times my employer needed me to be there was just not working - so I put in my notice a few weeks ago.

I wasn't making that much money because my hours were really low, but it was still money I could count on. It paid a few of the bills.

Now the cash flow situation in extremely critical. It is all outgoing and no incoming - Aaagh! Scary!

So, yeah, I said all that to say that I'm really trying to rustle up some business that will be good for the news piece and I'm planning to be out of town next week for a trade show. Therefore taking puctures of my hair is not really high on my list of priorities...but...every time I look in the mirror I think: Wow! They are looking lovely.

I adore this stage and this length. Of course I want them to continue growing, but I can tell this is a length I will miss.

It's a fun, flirty, flippy stage - great for the coming of spring. They are just sassy and full of life and body and swing. I get compliments on them daily and regularly from the same people who have been watching the process from the beginning and from total strangers on the street.

I still love them, but it is always interesting to have people comment on them over and over - how beautiful they are..

I'm sorry. I feel like this post is like: look at me I'm so wonderful. That's not how I mean it. At all. I just know that a lot of people who decide that they want locks hesitate because they wonder what other people will think and they fear a negative reception. There are also blogs I've read and people I've spoken with who have gotten nothing but negative comments from their friends, family and co-workers.

I do get the occasional ignorant statement or question, but, by and large my entire locking experience has been and continues to be very positive, and that's why I wanted to write about it.

This post is not to say: look at me! I'm so beautiful and special and talented....Don't you wish you had it going on like I do?

It's to let others know that positive feedback is out there. A completely positive experience is possible.

I feel like this: You know how some of your friends (or some of you) had difficult pregnancies, but then some women have trouble-free preganancies and quick and easy deliveries? And the same thing happens with relationships. Some of us have all sorts of drama over and over - and not necessarily as the direct result of our own neuroses, either. And then some of us have the easiest courtships after which marriage immediately follows....And we're happy!

I've never been the type to be jealous of other people's successes. I take this view: If she can do it or it worked out well for her, then that means there's hope for me. Or alternatively, in situations where my personal struggles were unavoidable, I have thought: At least someone is having an easy time of it - good for them!

And that's how I feel about my Sisterlocks.

I've read other people's blogs where they had drama from the start - problems necessitating takedowns and issues with bunching or dandruff or tenderheadedness and consultant woes and family opposition, a constant stream of rude comments and questions and all manner of other troubles - none of which were ever in my personal experience.

I just want people to know that it is an easy and painless transition for some of us. I don't think it's due to anything special about me. I am not highlighting myself in any way. I just want other women to know that sometimes it is all good - through and through.

I started my locks a year ago and I have never had any major problems (quite a few minor ones, but none my consultant and I couldn't handle). I have no regrets. I love my Sisterlocks and I know they do look good because I get so much positive feedback from others.

'Cause, you know, sometimes we make a choice and we're just like: this is what I have decided to do and I don't care what others think!

And that's the mindset I had when I started my Sisterlocks - which is all the more reason I really appreciate the positive feeback that I get and that it comes to me on such a regular basis. After all, I expected to love them, but I was mentally and emotionally prepared for the people around me not to.

I had beautiful straight hair and beautiful curly hair - good hair (if I do say so myself! ;-) so I was fully prepared for all of the 'why did you do that to your pretty hair?'-type comments. And other random ignorance. But it didn't happen - not that it never happened, but not nearly as
much as I anticipated it might and prepared myself for.

I wondered about my job interviews and my business introductions, etc. No negative experiences so far, and only people who have commented on how much they like my look.

So, I'm sharing my good news and my good experiences and passing along news of the compliments so that others know that it is good and pleasant for some of us.

I have been happy with my Sisterlocks every day since I got them.

My First Sisterlocks Gathering

So today I attended my very first Sisterlocks gathering....

And guess who was there?...My friend Carmen. Even though we had never met, I've been reading her blog from the beginning, and we've e-mailed each other, so of course I feel like I know her. She is just as adorable and funny in person as I imagined she would be!





The gathering was organized by Blessed Gem Lady...Isn't she beautiful? She was celebrating her one year anniversary, which coincidentally was today. Also in attendance were several other locked ladies from the area. We had such a good time, comparing notes on products and hairstyles.





Meet Sandra, Lynette, and Lauren, Sl'd 8 months, 4 years, and 10 years, respectively.





Here are Delores and Lauren. Delores has also been Sl'd 4 years. You can't tell from any of the pictures, but Lauren has locks she can sit on. She is also a certified consultant. With all of her experience in wearing and maintaining Sisterlocks, she had lots of good advice for all of us!




In this picture, we have the lovely Andrea and Yolanda. Andrea has had Sl's for 3 years and Yolanda has had them for a year and a half.

Carmen showed up with what seemed like about a hundred Tomoka's Twists. We couldn't decide what we wanted to order for looking at the hair accessories...all of which had beautiful matching earrings. Some of us couldn't even wait until we left to wear them..ooh...ahhh...!



*ladies who were there...I'm going from memory, so if I spelled your name incorrectly or got your stats wrong, leave me a comment and I'll correct it*

On Sisterlocks Inspiration

I always hesitate to use the adjectives ‘well-spoken’ and ‘articulate’ as compliments – ‘cuz y’all know that some of them have ruined those two words for some of us. Personally, I feel like I can always tell contextually whether it is a genuine nod of recognition and praise vs. a backhanded compliment or register of surprise – like I am one of the few exceptions that proves the rule. But I know that there are some people who always bristle a little, maybe even subconsciously, when they hear one of the other of those words.

However, I said all that to say that I have been so impressed with the writing on the blogs I’ve been following. It is very nice to feel connected to and have the opportunity to communicate with so many AA women who are professional and well-educated and creative (and articulate and well-spoken).

It doesn’t surprise me to know that you all exist – it is not like the rare sighting of a legendary mythological creature. “Loch Ness Monster caught on tape!”

… Although I did see a “Locmess” once. (Nothin’ but love for you, girl, because you keep it SO real.)

I don’t consider it a remarkable novelty or exceptional phenomenon to encounter such amazing women – It’s just that I have a very close-knit circle of friends that I have other things in common with (besides my hair). And we call each other often and vacation together and go to parties...

Since I have a fairly active social life, I’ve never spent very much time (read: any) online in chat rooms. And I never read a single blog before January of this year.

My attitude about blogging was always: who cares?

Not in a snotty, self-absorbed way. I am a writer at heart. I journal almost daily, and I love to read memoirs, auto-biographies, and other personal accounts.

I have enough opinions and funny experiences that I’ve often thought I could write a book or even sustain a literary column, but I always thought: who would care to read the minutiae of my life?

I email my friends and write letters to them, but why would people I’ve never met care to read about my daily affairs and all my little ups-and-downs, my trials and triumphs?

I always figured they wouldn’t.

I never had the desire to go online searching for blogs, even on topics or among groups of people that interested me…until I discovered SL blogs, and then I was immediately hooked! At first, I really was just looking for pictures. But then I actually started to read, because I was looking for more information about locks.

However, as I read about the individual lock journeys, I began to care about your lives because you all share so many stories about what is happening to you day by day: births and deaths, weddings and engagements, divorces and separations, illnesses and cures, career milestones and life lessons.

…And it is very fascinating to me to see how open and expressive you all are.

The online sisterlock community has truly been an inspiration to me.

Thank you all!